By Matt Seigel, Michael Geier, and Will Springer

Matt Seigel

I went to Congregation Or Ami’s Men’s Night Out for the first time. Choosing to go to a men’s group on a weeknight, even with people I know, isn’t something I naturally gravitate toward.

I don’t mind large groups. In fact, I enjoy them. I had just come off a client summit with more than 500 people where I was presenting and spending long days connecting. That’s comfortable for me.

So why the discomfort with forty-one men, many of whom I know?

Uncomfortable conversations. Forced introductions. Debating for the sake of debate. Kvetching for the sake of kvetching. Political arguments. Meh. That’s what I imagined Men’s Night would be.

And honestly, after ten-plus-hour workdays, if I’m stepping away for two hours, I’d usually choose to be home with my wife and kids. Or just watching a Dodgers game by myself.

But this one was at a close friend’s home. Two minutes away. No car, no real excuse. It felt like the right thing to do. Show up. Be present. Stretch a bit beyond what I would normally choose.

Within minutes of walking in, I was in a meaningful conversation with someone new. Then came familiar faces, handshakes, hugs. Warmth. Some friends, some friendlies, some just familiar.

It didn’t feel forced. It felt real.

Dinner was fantastic. Brad Cohan, our host and chef, smoked the tri-tip and salmon, and somehow made it look effortless. Some people are built to entertain. Brad has the gift.

As the night went on, I noticed a tension in myself. Part of me still holding onto the idea that this isn’t really my thing. I could feel myself wanting to stay attached to that narrative as the rabbi gathered everyone around.

But when the conversation turned to the subject of “change,” I leaned in.

Change in career. In life. In the things we choose, and the things that are chosen for us. This conversation about the realities of life pulled us into something deeper: connection.

Different men shared their stories. I usually like to speak, but I wasn’t called on. And I could feel that discomfort too. Sitting back. Listening instead of leading.

“Matt, keep your mouth shut. Listen.”

Another stretch. A healthy one, my wife would say.

I listened. I appreciated the honesty, the empathy, the wisdom. It was a good group.

Congregants Sid Goldberg, Craig Lazar, Fred Gruber, and Brad Cohan guided the conversation by sharing their own experiences of navigating change.

Rabbi Paul Kipnes closed by reminding us of the importance of connecting as Jews, especially in a time of change, in a time of turmoil, in a time of rising antisemitism. Rising above differences, finding what binds us together.

And while there were likely many different perspectives in that room, that thread clearly held.

I showed up mostly out of obligation. I came in looking for the exit.

And I left feeling elevated.

Reminded that sometimes the things we don’t naturally choose are the ones we need most. And that there’s real value in stepping into community, even when it pushes against our defaults.

Michael Geier

Men’s Night Out was impactful and inspiring.

The question we explored was how adjustments in our work lives have affected how we move forward, in business and in life. The answers got me thinking about my own approach, both professionally and personally.

While I haven’t experienced drastic change, I have had to adjust my mindset. And more importantly, the evening gave me something I didn’t expect, foresight.

It helped me think ahead.

It reminded me that I need to be ready to adjust and pivot, not to get too comfortable, because we never know when a storm is coming.

That awareness alone made the night matter.

Will Springer

Men’s Night Out was a great evening.

Yes, Brad Cohan’s tri-tip and salmon were smoked to perfection. But what made it special was the camaraderie.

We had around forty-one men, from their mid-30’s to their 80’s, which created a powerful mix of perspectives. Different stages of life, different experiences, all in one space.

The theme of the changing business world hit home for me. It was refreshing to connect with men who understand the challenges of navigating transitions like this.

There was something reassuring about being in a room where no one has it all figured out, but everyone is willing to share what they’ve learned along the way.

All in all, it was a meaningful night. Good food, good people, and just enough wisdom to go around.

__________

Rabbi Paul Kipnes

Turns out, sometimes the night you almost skip is the one that stays with you.

Next Men’s Night Out: Wednesday, June 3rd, 7:00 pm PT. Location TBA. Save the Date.

Come for the food. Stay for the connection.