Intern Essays Archives - Congregation Or Ami

Intern Essay: Laura Siegel Perpinyal RJE

Questions and Details that Stretched My Creativity
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Laura Siegel Perpinyal RJE

My time at Congregation Or Ami taught me how to communicate, to actualize a vision, and to create meaningful relationships; these are enduring lessons that I use on a daily basis in my life as a Jewish professional.

I remember sitting with Rabbi Paul Kipnes and my internship partner, then Rabbinical student, Rebekah Stern, as we started to craft the lessons of our Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program’s 2008-2009 curriculum. I was so excited to explore Jewish Holidays and thought I knew how to write a lesson plan. I wasn’t prepared for Rabbi Kipnes’ questions, asking about what at the time seemed like minute details. “What will families do when they first walk into the room?” “Who will greet them?” “How will they know where to go and what to do first?” “I don’t understand what you mean by X or Y or Z…”

Rabbi Kipnes has a gift of pushing us without feeling like we are being pushed. He asks questions that guide us and help us grow. I remember sitting in my office writing a lesson plan for the first time as a professional in the Jewish community, and could hear Rabbi Kipnes’ questions as I wrote! Still to this day I am mindful as I write lesson plans and try to account for the little details that I might take for granted.

Because of my time leading Mishpacha, I start every program I lead with name tags; even if families have been part of the same cohort for years together. I love the tradition at Or Ami of putting on a name tag everytime you walk into the building. It ensures that each person is seen, literally named, and welcomed when they arrive.

Leading an innovative year-long family education experience as a graduate student involved hard work and long days but was exceptionally rewarding. I was especially grateful to be tasked with calling the parents of each of our special needs students prior to each session to help walk through the lesson so they and their child could be prepared and feel comfortable. This practice at Or Ami reminded me, week after week, of each person’s individuality. It stretched my creativity and left me in awe of parents and parenting well before I became a parent myself.

I treasure my learning experience at Congregation Or Ami, with Rabbi Kipnes and the entire Mishpacha team. It was humbling to watch parents teach their children the lessons we had crafted on paper, literally making Judaism come to life before our eyes!

Laura Siegel Perpinyal has been the Director of Congregational Learning at Temple Chai in Long Grove, Illinois since 2011. She served as the Mishpacha Coordinator at Congregation Or Ami in 2008-2009. She currently serves as the President of ChARJE, the Chicago Area Reform Jewish Educators, and serves as the Advocacy Co-Chair for the national ARJE, Association of Reform Jewish Educators. She graduated from Hebrew Union College-, Jewish Institute of Religion with double Masters Degrees in Jewish Education and Jewish Non-Profit Management in 2009.

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Intern Essay: Sarah Rosenbaum Jones

Board Games, Curiosity, and the Noshery
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Sarah Rosenbaum Jones

The very first lesson I learned as an intern and Mishpacha Coordinator at Congregation Or Ami was learned over the implementation of a board game, as one might expect from the place where joy lives at the center of Jewish life.. Rabbi Paul Kipnes and I found ourselves in a kerfuffle early on in my internship. Should the board game be life-size, or family size? We spent a good chunk of our meeting time in a heated debate, each passionately rooting for our vision (his, a life-size memorable moment; mine, an intimate family discussion). It was only a few weeks later, when I reflected back on this debate, that I could extract the lesson learned: One of our tasks, as Jewish leaders, is to make decisions with intention and care, so that our programming consistently advances our organization’s mission. To debate something as seemingly-trivial as a board game demonstrates this intentionality and care that Or Ami puts into everything it does.

One of my most difficult roles as an Or Ami intern was to supervise the Mishpacha teachers, who were also my peers. Rabbi Julia Weisz’s guidance in the realm of supervision is transferable to so many other areas of the rabbinate and will remain with me indefinitely. She modeled, first and foremost, that care is the foundation for every working relationship. It is our privilege as rabbis and educators to encounter people in all stages of their lives, and our first task is to develop partnerships with others based on mutual understanding and respect. Rabbi Julia exemplifies the Jewish value of dan l’kaf zechut, giving every person the benefit of the doubt. In one particularly challenging supervisory situation, she reminded me to step into the situation with curiosity and concern for the teacher’s well-being. She taught me that we do best to wonder why others are missing the mark, instead of assuming malintent.

Finally (though I could go on for pages, I was given a word limit!), I learned a poignant life lesson from the Or Ami fridge, of all things. As anyone who has stepped into Or Ami’s Noshery (kitchen) knows, Or Ami keeps a full fridge and snack closet, and they are open to anyone at any time. This is clearly not about full bellies, though those are happy outcomes. Rather, Or Ami models trusting people and caring for them. With this simple but intentional gesture, Or Ami transforms the synagogue into a second home. This is the Or Ami way.

Sarah Rosenbaum Jones is in her final semester of rabbinical school at HUC-JIR and is a graduate of HUC’s Rhea Hirsch School of Education. She served as Mishpacha Coordinator in 2017-2018. In addition to her time spent at Or Ami, Sarah has served communities in Glencoe, IL, Redding, CA, Kenosha, WI, and London, England. Sarah, her spouse Jeffrey, and their daughter Adira will be returning to their home in Chicago after ordination. Sarah looks forward to the opportunities that await her there!

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Intern Essay: Sarah Lauing

Pushing Interns to “Go Bigger, Bolder, and Deeper”
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Sarah Lauing

The year I was an intern, and Coordinator, of Congregation Or Ami’s Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program, Rabbi Paul Kipnes had decided the curriculum topic for the year would be “Henaynu: Caring Community.” I admit, I was skeptical. In my mind, that was more of a value than subject matter for a curriculum, but Rabbi Paul insisted. He was sure there was deep rooted content in Jewish tradition pointing toward what it means to be a caring community. Of course, he was right. As we brainstormed how to teach this value, we drew from Torah, philosophy, life cycle, and Jewish values. As we designed the activities, Rabbi Paul was constantly there, pushing us to go bigger, bolder, and deeper. He challenged us to make the curriculum more experiential, more active, and more fun, while also maintaining high expectations for the level of content.

So we did.

We created Abraham and Sarah’s tents, so participants could learn how to welcome classmates with juice and Nutella. We transformed our teachers into biblical characters to remind us how to say “hineni,” (I am here”). (I remember robing a shorts-clad Rabbi Paul in fabric fall leaves to play Adam, and he was more than willing to take on the character!) We created art pieces around our values and engaged in Tikkun Olam projects. We built a model home to explore the shiva rituals (after a death) and a chuppah for a wedding. By the end of the year, families had not only studied about the value of showing up for each other, but modeled Henaynu through the program.

Mishpacha also reinforced my understanding of the power of family education. I witnessed parents who were so committed to Jewish education that they gave their weekend time regularly and enthusiastically to attending the program alongside their children. I was impressed by the level of relationship building that was possible among families. (Snack time was as important to the program for Rabbi Paul as learning time, as it helped build community. We had to ensure that there was abundant healthy food, and he coached me regularly on the art of synagogue schmoozing.) Most importantly, I had the honor of helping parents teach their children. The Torah says “teach them diligently to your children…” While many Jewish families today tend to outsource this task to educators, in Mishpacha, now Mensch-ify) and family schools around the country, parents are empowered to own the material and teach their children alongside our teachers and educators.

As I write this, I have just completed two wonderful family education days in my own synagogue in my role as Director of Learning and Educational Innovation. Fifth Grade families “flew” to Israel in a plane complete with passports and El Al tickets, then participated in science, art, and language activities to engage with the different geographic locations in Israel. Third Grade families went on a Torah scavenger hunt, matching mitzvot with texts from the Torah, and discussing how they play out in their family and parenting lives. The Mishpacha program and the mentorship of Rabbi Paul Kipnes served as powerful growth opportunities, leading me to prioritize both family learning and experiential education as central to the way I educate and to my values as a professional and leader.

Sarah Lauing was an intern and Mishpacha Coordinator at Congregation Or Ami in 2011-2012. After graduating from HUC-JIR’s Rhea Hirsch School of Education, Sarah worked simultaneously as Director of Jewish Life at URJ Crane Lake Camp and as Youth and Family Educator at Temple Shaaray Tefila in New York City. She then served full time as Associate Director at Crane Lake. Sarah recently returned home to California in a new position as Director of Learning and Educational Innovation at Congregation Beth Am in Los Altos Hills, CA.

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Intern Essay: Rachel Margolis

The Power of Showing Up
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rachel Margolis, RJE

I had the honor of serving the Congregation Or Ami community in 2006-2007, as the first intern to direct Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program, along with my friend and colleague Rebecca Berger. In our year working with this unique synagogue in Calabasas, CA, Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Congregation Or Ami shaped my career trajectory – both by mentoring and guiding me, and by stretching my understanding of myself as a Jewish professional.

Or Ami taught me…

About the power of a phone call
An email came in from a family with a complaint. In previous internships, I was never in charge of a program. As the Mishpacha Coordinator, I knew the “buck stopped here” – with me. I couldn’t rely on Rabbi Paul, PK as I lovingly called him, to respond. So we reflected upon multiple questions – How do we respond? What can we write back? How can we resolve this? PK’s guiding words resonated – “When someone emails you a complaint, you pick up the phone and give them a call.” A call – this advice from the rabbi who at the time was constantly on his phone emailing people, struck me. What’s the difference between a call and an email? In an era when we can do anything from the little computer we hold in our hands, a call forces us to slow down. Listen. Connect with another person one-to-one. Hear their tone. Hear their story. Listen for their needs. Consider what isn’t being said. Respond with compassion and empathy. Express real interest in coming to a resolution that works for everyone. Could we achieve this with an email? Maybe. However, an email would miss the tone, the slowing down – the opportunity to build a relationship.

When we get a complaint, always pick up the phone. It can be hard to hear the words of criticism. Our first instinct might be to take it all personally. And yet – nothing can replace the power of connecting with another person and establishing a real relationship.

About the power of showing up
It’s hard to count all of the ways that PK and the Or Ami community modeled “showing up.” From the very start, we always had name tags; every single person, every single time – even the rabbi (who everyone knew) would always wear the sticker name tag, color-coded to signify if you were a member or a newcomer. Wearing our names allowed us to show up for one another because in greeting people by their name, we made each person feel seen and important. Names are important and wearing name tags conveyed the message that every member of the community matters.

We were told that Or Ami didn’t have full time custodial help, and we didn’t have a dedicated administrative assistant to make copies and gather supplies. When we wanted chairs or tables set up in a certain way, we moved them ourselves. We arrived early enough to make every last copy, every last circle, and hang every sign. We saw that work as an important piece in the puzzle of building community and leading – showing up to roll up our sleeves to do every single task with joy.

PK modeled by example, leading with empathy and saying “yes” when families, staff, or the community needed him. He showed us that you could put values into action and live up to your best ideals – showing up for people in times of need, joy, and sadness. If someone in the community wanted to try something new – he would listen, help figure out how the idea helped carry out the Or Ami vision, and work toward yes. The power of showing up for others with a values-driven approach builds trust, relationships and community buy-in.

By December, I knew that starting from “yes” was the Or Ami way. When PK called me to ask if I would fill in, helping him lead the family trip to Israel that departed in 5 days, I immediately said yes. I had learned not to be thrown off by his honesty about how he asked other interns before me. This was my community and I had the incredible opportunity to lead and learn in real-time. I showed up in Israel, and when we landed and drove right to Jerusalem to begin our program at an overlook onto the city, PK looked at me as I got off the bus and said, “You’re leading this part.” I immediately turned red, knots inside my stomach. I could think of all the reasons this wouldn’t go well – I was jetlagged, unprepared, and couldn’t authentically lead a group as an intern when their beloved rabbi was right there. I felt like a total imposter! And then – I remembered what it meant to show up. I had said “yes” to the trip; I said “yes” to kicking it off. I listed the reasons why PK could trust me with this task, and reminded myself of why I was qualified to do this. I can’t remember what I said or did on that promenade overlooking Jerusalem, but I can remember the the confidence after I succeeded. To this day, I still begin everything I lead with the same mix of nerves and determination to show up in humility; every experience is an opportunity to teach and to learn.

About the power of being authentic
I had the honor of getting to know the Kipnes-November family throughout my year as an intern. PK built a level of trust and openness that allowed us to hold meetings at his home, so busy city-based students didn’t need to schlep all the way to Calabasas. He would honestly reflect with us about what it was like to be a rabbi and to be part of the rabbi’s family. As an education student engaged to a rabbinic student, I looked to him not only as a mentor in my internship, but as a mentor in life. In PK I saw the challenge of being present in both synagogue and home life. I saw the integration of a loving and dedicated marriage and father with the life of being an all-in and genuine rabbi. PK talked openly about how the drive between work and home helped him separate both holy roles he had. He talked what he was learning about the blessings and challenges of being a rabbi’s kid – and a rabbi’s partner.

In demonstrating an authentic life – professionally and personally – PK showed me the importance of being true to oneself – giving your all when possible, caring for yourself and your family – and being honest when it’s hard. This model of authentic leadership impacts my daily interactions in all that I do.

I am forever grateful for my Or Ami experience, and always proud to be among “Or Ami’s interns” at various conferences and gatherings. Thank you Congregation Or Ami for teaching my life lessons and still be there for me and my family.

Rachel Margolis is a Senior Congregational Education expert at the Union for Reform Judaism. Rachel is the chair of the Alumni Leadership Council and services on the Board of Governors at HUC-JIR. She holds a joint masters degree in Jewish Education and Jewish Communal Service from Hebrew Union College – Jewish Institute of Religion. In her years since being an intern at Congregation Or Ami, she has served as the Director of Education at a Los Angeles synagogue, consulted on various curricular and camp projects to synagogues and community organizations around the country, worked as the Executive Director at a community Hebrew High School in Durham – Chapel Hill. She lives outside of Chicago with her husband, Rabbi Ari Margolis (another Or Ami intern!), and their three girls

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Intern Essay: Rabbi Greg Weisman

Developing a Deep Self-Reflective Rabbinate
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rabbi Greg Weisman

Serving as Or Ami’s Mishpacha Coordinator and working closely with Rabbi Paul Kipnes, my eyes were opened to the innovative and compelling world of family education. As we learned together in classrooms, on the floor of the sanctuary, at the Gentle Barn farm in Santa Clarita, and in Or Ami’s temporary home in the spring of 2011, I saw the brightness of our Torah and our Jewish tradition brighten the light in the eyes of the parents and children who came to learn with us and walk their families’ Jewish journeys together. Working closely with my colleague Joel Abramowitz, we learned m, first hand from Rabbi Paul, our mentor and teacher, what supervision, imagination, and communal leadership looks like.

Almost a decade later, I am serving as a rabbi and teaching youth, teens, adults, and families together at my congregation in Boca Raton, Florida. I think constantly about my time at Or Ami and with Rabbi Paul. I think about how he taught me never to underestimate what the members of our congregations will do to help support their communities to success. Whether we were filling the sanctuary with glow sticks in a re-enactment of the Kabbalah’s description of Creation, or asking the entire group of families to schlep out to Santa Clarita to spend the morning experiencing animal therapy, Rabbi Paul again and again helped us discover that with a good vision and purpose, committed congregants will do everything they can to make something successful.

As a supervisor, mentor, and now a colleague, I have grown to see Rabbi Paul as a deeply self-reflective rabbi. In conversations we have been in together, I constantly experience him striving to better understand the needs of those around him. He has been especially self-reflective and articulate as our Reform rabbinate has been engaging in deep contemplation on how women in the rabbinate can rightfully be elevated and their essential contributions recognized. As a male colleague, I look to him as an example of someone who is not afraid to look in the mirror and assess his own past actions, and I strive to do the same in my own work.

I am so blessed that I can call Rabbi Paul my friend and colleague, my teacher, and most significantly, my rabbi.

Rabbi Greg Weisman has served Temple Beth El in Boca Raton since 2013. He is deeply involved in the congregation’s social action and social justice work, the Early Learning Center and Religious School, and guides the congregation’s Introduction to Judaism and conversion program. In the Boca Raton community he serves on the Boca Raton Interfaith Clergy Association, is vice-president of the Palm Beach County Board of Rabbis, and sits on the board of the Palm Beach County office of American Jewish Committee. While in rabbinical school at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Los Angeles, he served as intern and Mishpacha Mishpacha Coordinator at Congregation Or Ami in Calabasas in 2010-2011. He and his wife Tami Weisman, RJE, a Jewish educator, live in Boca Raton with

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Intern Essay: Rabbi Dan Medwin

Teaching Parents to Teach Children
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
Rabbi Dan Medwin

At Congregation Or Ami, I was honored to be a part of the Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program, one of the most effective and engaging educational models I have ever witnessed, let alone had the privilege to lead. Not only was this format for learning deeply transformative and revolutionary, it was also at its core, a very simple and apparent model. Called “Mishpacha,” Hebrew for “family,” this educational program brought families together for fun and learning, growth and exploration. Our basic premise was targeting the content to the various ages and experiences, as well as empowering parents to teach their own children.

A typical day would begin with children grouped by grades, learning with teachers age-appropriate material related to the day’s theme, while parents learned with the Mishpacha Coordinators – me and Sara Mason-Barkin (now a rabbi, as well). This opportunity for the parents to learn at an adult level fed their hunger for learning and Jewish connection, while simultaneously preparing them for the joint family activity during the second part of the day. When the children rejoined their parents, we often played a larger than life board game or activity, in which families worked together, and parents were prepared to engage with their children on the theme and further deepen their collective learning.

When the children see their parents learning about Judaism themselves and actively participating in their own children’s Jewish journey, it increases the perception of importance of Judaism for the children and mimics the very authentic ways families experience life out in the world: together. It also provides exceptional bonding time for parents to spend with their children, something I appreciate even more now that I have children of my own.

Preparing each lesson was a logistical puzzle and an opportunity for creativity that challenged and increased my own skills as an educator and Jewish leader. We often held the precept when planning our activities: go big or go home! This was exemplified in one of my favorite lessons in which we constructed a giant cardboard mountain on which families laid out their personal journeys to the top. This symbolized each person’s, and each family’s, unique path, which was not only honored, but celebrated. I have always, and will continue to, treasure my learning and experiences as an Or Ami intern leading the Mishpacha program.

Rabbi Dan Medwin, MAJE, serves as the Associate Director of Digital Media, in the Department of Strategic Communications, for the Central Conference of American Rabbis, the rabbinical arm and member organization of the Reform Movement. Part of his work involves creating and facilitating the use of Visual T’filah across the Jewish world, including its early development and innovation at Or Ami. He also served as the Mishpacha Coordinator during his internship at Or Ami in 2009-2010.

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Intern Essay: Rabbi Alissa Forrest Miller

What Superpower Would You Like?
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rabbi Alissa Forrest Miller

Recently at a meeting, we were asked to share one of our superpowers as part of the introductions. Without much time to think, I responded, “My superpower is to get people to say yes to a job, volunteer position or participation in a program.” After explaining to numerous people how it’s never through guilt or a hard sale, I realized that I learned this valuable skill during my three years as an intern at Congregation Or Ami (2004-2007).

I originally signed on for a one year internship. Toward the end of that year, Rabbi Kipnes and I were in one of our regular mentorship meetings, when we began discussing ways in which Or Ami could revamp the teen programs. I began to brainstorm and vision with him. By the end of that meeting, he asked me if I would come back for a second year to help lead those efforts in addition to starting a monthly Shabbat morning minyan and revitalizing the LoMPTY youth group.

Rabbi Kipnes let me know that he wasn’t going to tell me how to do it. Instead, he gave me the authority and space to try my new ideas. Rabbi Kipnes was present as a thought partner and mentor, always helping me reflect both on the programs and services I was leading and creating, and also on my growth as a leader. He and the Or Ami community empowered me and had faith in me at a time in my rabbinical studies when I was developing my confidence as a future leader. By the end of my second year, when I told myself that it was now time for me to try something else, he once again played to my strengths and interests. Knowing where I wanted (and needed) to grow, he once again created an opportunity I couldn’t refuse. Looking back, I see how both Or Ami and I benefited from how the clergy and community give us interns sufficient space, real authority and exciting opportunities.

Two years ago, I was in Washington, DC at the Religious Action Center’s L’Taken seminar at the same time as the Or Ami delegation. There I met many of the current LoMPTY board members. It was fun for me to tell them about the time when a few teens and I revamped LoMPTY; it was exciting for them to share with me how they are now one of the strongest youth groups in the region. I felt proud of how much each of us– the Or Ami teen programs and I– grew as a result of my saying “yes” to those additional years as an intern.

Throughout my tenure as a rabbi at Temple Isaiah in Lafayette, CA, I have continually used this model of partnership as a way to cultivate new leaders, retain valuable teachers, and persuade participation in a program. It is a superpower that has strengthened my leadership and our community.

Rabbi Alissa Miller is rabbi at Temple Isaiah in Lafayette, CA. There she oversees their vibrant programs for youth, teens and young families, directing Noar Night (their teen school) and Camp Kefli, and coordinates Kulanu, their “youth group style” family programs and PARTI, their PARenting Teens of Isaiah programs. In 2017 she received the Covenant Foundation’s Pomegranate Prize as a rising leader in the field of Jewish education. As an education intern and then Rabbinic intern at Congregation Or Ami, Rabbi Miller revamped the youth program (creating Temple Teen Night), revitalized an almost non-existent LoMPTY youth group, and transformed the community in many other ways. In addition, she is married to Dan Miller and has two children- Leo and Jake.

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Intern Essay: Rebecca Berger

Listen from the Heart and Honor Others
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rebecca Berger

Serving as Congregation Or Ami’s intern and Mishpacha Coordinator taught me four lessons that have guided my work as a Jewish educator:

Hillel teaches Don’t say ‘When I have [free] time I will learn, lest you never have [free] time’ (Pirke Avot 2:5).

Rabbi Paul Kipnes modeled how to set clear priorities in work and in life. For example, we started every meeting with a text study that could deepen our work together. Furthermore, he shared how he always made time to go on date nights and walks with his wife. Rabbi Kipnes taught me how to live a balanced, meaningful life.

Those who rebuke find favor and a good blessing falls upon them (Proverbs 24:25).

One time I was in the midst of leading a Mishpacha Family Alternative Learning Program session and needed to write a note to Or Ami’s administrative assistant. I grabbed the first writing utensil I could find — a red crayon — and scribbled a note. Later Rabbi Kipnes called me in to talk. In his kind yet direct manner, Rabbi Kipnes advised that impressions matter. In my mind I couldn’t help thinking “it was just a crayon!” but that moment stayed with me. Now I recognize how the way that I present myself can have a significant impact on how seriously my learners, colleagues, and supervisors take me. Furthermore, I strive to follow Rabbi Kipnes’ practice of kind rebuke.

Grant me a lev shomea [a listening heart] (1Kings 3:9).

New to the Mishpacha Coordinator job, I was taken aback by a parent calling to berate me about the family education session I had just led. I don’t remember the specifics but I do remember feeling the sting of this parent’s words. In conversation afterward, Rabbi Kipnes shared two insights. First, there will always be people who don’t like what you do; accept criticism, consider it, and take it as an opportunity for growth. Second, pick up the phone and listen. Listening is our sacred responsibility.

Who is honored? One who honors others (Pirke Avot 4:1).

During a faculty and staff retreat, Rabbi Kipnes gathered us into his living room. He went around the room extolling the merits of each person who was on his incredible team. I learned from Rabbi Kipnes not only how to make individuals feel valued but also how to create a team of people who value each other. He made his staff feel seen.

As Rabbi Kipnes taught me, if Jewish leaders continue to study Torah, strive to be their best selves always, listen from the heart, and honor others, our Jewish community will surely be strengthened.

Rebecca Berger is the Assistant Educational Director at Sinai Akiba Academy in Los Angeles. While earning her Master’s in Jewish Education at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion, she interned at Or Ami as the Mishpacha Coordinator. Committed to Jewish day schools, she has taught TaNaCh, Rabbinic Literature and Jewish history to middle school students and strives to help her students strengthen their Jewish identities and their commitment to justice. She and her husband are parents of two wonderful girls.

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Intern Essay: Rabbi Julie Bressler

Sharing Cell Phones and Safe Space
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rabbi Julie Bressler

At the end of my first teen retreat with Congregation Or Ami, Rabbis Paul Kipnes and Julia Weisz asked all the teens to take out their cell phones (which we had been asking them to put away all weekend) and to open a new contact. A bit confused, the teens did so and awaited further instructions. At that moment, both rabbis gave out their cell phone numbers to the 50+ teens gathered in the circle. The rabbis told the teens that if they were in trouble, or needed a safe adult to talk to, Rabbis Paul and Julia would be there as quickly as possible, with no questions asked. They explained that they trusted the teens to use these numbers sparingly and at appropriate hours, unless they really needed their rabbi. In that case, they should call or text immediately. I could tell by their tone that they meant it, and all of the teens did too. This act of connection blew me away.

During my years working at Or Ami, I saw teens connect with Rabbis Paul and Julia in deep, meaningful, and powerful ways. The teens texted with them frequently – for silly moments and significant life experiences. These teens knew their rabbis cared about each and every one of them and it gave them a sense of calm and safety both within and outside of the walls of the synagogue.

While I learned innumerable life lessons from my time at Or Ami as an education and rabbinic intern, the most powerful lesson centers around elevating depth of relationships in conjunction with depth of learning. At Or Ami, I learned that if individuals feel safe, they are willing to push themselves to be vulnerable and allow themselves to dive deep into experiences that may be outside of their comfort zones.

For example, when at Friday night services and on teen retreats we experimented with T’fillah Graffiti (activities that invited people to write responses to personal questions in a graffiti-style on walls), participants of all ages willingly answered questions such as “What does the dark feel like and how do you find the light?” Their powerful responses about family challenges, experiences with mental illness, school/work concerns, and more showed me the poignancy of Jewish relational learning. For so many of these individuals, the light – their space of healing and support – was found at Or Ami or through connections forged at Or Ami.

This is what a synagogue can be – a place of safety, opportunity, growth, and curiosity. Or Ami is a place where congregants young and old feel empowered to be vulnerable and brave, and to grow into their best selves. I am honored to be part of this enduring legacy.

Rabbi Julie Bressler serves as Assistant Rabbi at Temple Beth Shalom in Needham, MA. She worked as Mishpacha Coordinator and Rabbinic Intern at Or Ami from 2014-2018. Rabbi Bressler discovered her love of Judaism and sleeping under the stars at URJ Camp Newman and Temple Isaiah in Lafayette, CA. She enjoys telling everyone in New England about the superior weather and sports teams in her home state of California.

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Intern Essay: Rabbi Jonathan Fisch

Compassionate Listening, Collaborative Working, and Engaging Storytelling
Abiding Lessons from my Internship at Or Ami
By Rabbi Jonathan Fisch

I worked for ten years at Congregation Or Am between 2002 to 2014, only stepping away to study in Israel. In those Or Ami years, I diligently studied and admired all that made up this sacred community. There are no words to describe the gratitude I have for my rabbis, Rabbi Paul Kipnes and Rabbi Julia Weisz, and for Cantor Doug Cotler and all the professional staff at Or Ami, who helped me understand Judaism, the work rabbis do, and the various roles we play.

Each member of the Or Ami clergy team set the highest example of compassionate listening and sacred caring, which allowed the opportunity for each member of their staff and faculty to grow and shine. I soaked up every word spoken in public or in private as I was mentored and while I hold dozens of memories, here are a few particularly impactful experiences that resonate the most with me.

Shadowing Rabbi Kipnes led me to an experience I have reflected on for years. While sitting in a funeral home in Los Angeles I watched Rabbi Kipnes guide the gathered community through prayers, Psalms, and stories, as he detailed the legacy of a member of Or Ami. After his eulogy he instructed the community to take out their phones. A strange request- I remember thinking at the time. He then implored the friends and extended family of the mourners to pick a few dates on their calendar app and to reach out on those dates to the mourner: not during the week of burial, but in the weeks or months that followed. In this way, as Rabbi Kipnes taught, the role of the community does not end immediately after the funeral, but lasts throughout the year. To this day, I use these same words and encourage my community in Southern Florida to reach out and remain supports for the grieving family for weeks and months after death. Rabbi Kipnes’ words and teaching are always a part of my rabbinate.

To this day Rabbi Weisz is the epitome of a leader who leads side by side with her community. As the song goes, “Don’t walk in front of me I may not follow. Don’t walk beside me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend…” Rabbi Weisz walks beside every person she works with! Never once have I heard her say, “Let’s do it my way.” She constantly and consistently invites new and fresh ideas, always collaborating. In meetings today I will some times think, W.W.J.D. (What Would Julia Do). In frustrating moments during the challenges of teamwork, this mantra takes me back to so many incredible brainstorming sessions filled with exciting ideas and effective collaboration. Rabbi Weisz has inspired within me the desire to create real relationships with my teens and youngest of students, This remains a cherished gift we can all see from her creativity, leadership, mentorship and love.

During one of the last few days of my tenure at Congregation Or Ami, I had a talk with Cantor Doug Cotler that changed my rabbinate forever. We were discussing the importance of telling stories from the bima, and Cantor Cotler said to me, “Fisch, stories are what we have, they’re our Torah, our history and will be our future. To be a great rabbi means to know stories and tell them well.” Every sermon I have delivered since is filled with stories, and when I deliver a new story that I know from heart and really sell it, I credit my time with Cantor Cotler – and also Rabbis Kipnes and Weisz – for showing me how it’s done to benefit our community.

Lastly, and actually most importantly, Congregation Or Ami demonstrates for me what it means to be a community that cares. Or Ami is a community who will come together to fill backpacks or fill even the corners of Congregation Or Ami to learn and study in the then-Mishpacha (and now Mensch-ify) program. Or Ami is a synagogue which values each sacred age of learning, LOMPTY is still one of the strongest youth groups I have ever seen, supported by a community who knows the importance of caring for the future of our people. Or Ami, is not just the “Light of My People,” but the Light that guides all other synagogues on how to lead and how to make Judaism most meaningful. What each of you has taught me is the importance of showing up and showing the next generation how to live a vibrant, Torah-filled Judaism.

The light of your Congregation is still very much a part of who I am. I have been gifted great friendship from the clergy, staff, and especially from each partner. Since 2014, I have had partners of Or Ami reach out and even come over to my home for a meal and to make joyous memories that will last a lifetime. On my desk in my office is a picture of Rabbi Kipnes, Rabbi Weisz and myself at my ordination. I look at that picture often and remember the life-changing impact my favorite community has left upon me.

Rabbi Jonathan Fisch, who served as Congregation Or Ami’s rabbinic intern, works at Temple Judea in Coral Gables, FL. In his six years there, he has helped grow the community, make Shabbat magical, special and engaging, and most of all has enjoyed every minute getting to know the members and community leaders of Coral Gables. Aside from loving his job, you can find him in his Coral Gables Police Uniform as their Chaplain. He is blessed with the greatest wife, Abby and two daughters, Ayla and Yael.

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